You may or may not have heard of the Stop Global Warming College Tour led by Sheryl Crow and Laurie David to condemn universities that are “carbon emissions culprit(s)” by traveling on their tour bus (which Crow touts is “biodiesel, of course!) (Huffington Post). The tour actually utilizes three tractor trailers, four buses, and six cars as they travel from Texas to Louisiana to Alabama to Florida up to Tennessee to Virginia to Maryland and finally to DC (without leaving a carbon footprint, of course!) (The Smoking Gun).
While traveling, Crow has spent countless hours “trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming (SherylCrow.com). Crow likes the idea of not using paper napkins because they are made from “virgin wood and represent the heighth (Crow’s spelling error) of wastefullness (also her spelling error),” hence she invented the “dining sleeve,” which is detachable and can be replaced with another (brilliant!) (SherylCrow.com).
The best idea Crow had to offer was to “propose a limitation on how many sqares (her spelling error) of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting,” and she feels we can “make it work with only one square per restroom visit” except for “on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required” (SherylCrow.com). When Crow presented this idea to her younger brother, “who's judgement (her spelling and grammatical errors) (she) trust(s) implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. (She) believe(s) his quote was, 'How 'bout just washing the one square out?'” (SherylCrow.com).
I truly wish I was either making this up or that she was simply kidding, but the global warming alarmists are serious, and these are not the first asinine suggestions to be offered by their crowd. A couple of other ideas that have been proposed consist of a man-made volcano that shoots sulfur into the air, giant “space umbrellas,” as well as ridding the world of toilets so that we may compost our own waste in a box that can be kept under the restroom sink (Associate Press). Additionally, a former Canadian defense minister has stated that he be believes that advanced technology exists in extraterrestrial civilizations offers “the best hope to ‘save our planet’ from the perils of climate change,” and that the government is hiding this information from us (The Ottawa Citizen).
The best part about Crow’s brilliant idea to drastically limit our toilet paper usage is Rosie O’Donnell’s reaction on The View. I have my own personal feelings about O’Donnell, which I will set aside in this posting, but her public mocking of Sheryl Crow is astounding. Through her discourse with Barbara Walters, Crow’s “dining sleeve" was criticized, and then in reference to one square of toilet paper, O’Donnell shouts out, “One little thing? Has she seen my *ss?” (TMZ). I suppose the world won’t be jumping on Crow’s bandwagon. It was a nice try, Sheryl. Thanks for playing.
One additional note. Did Sheryl ever consider that those who consider hygiene to be an important aspect in their lives (as opposed to those who likely write marijuana influenced blog postings on a bio-diesel tour bus) might be prone to wash their hands for an extensive amount of time after using only one sheet of toilet paper? Just think of all of the extra hot water that would be used as a result of a mass execution of her plan. The extra energy that would be utilized would have a drastic effect on so-called global warming. Bad idea, Sheryl. Bad idea. Stick to songwriting.